New Vows

New Vows, New year, New me! 

 2020 was hard on all of us. Covid-19, Had the sort of an impact, that no one had ever imagined. An year that was supposed to be full of festivities, and celebrations, was contrarily an year of home isolation and social separation. 2020 in my opinion was the one year, that i will not remember in my life or log book at least.

For 2021, I have made new vows, new commitments, new plans and of course, New resolutions. For starters i will not be clinging on to the ghosts of the past. Getting over unfortunate events, and adding a new perspective to life will surely be of help. Having said that, a lot of passengers boarded out of my train to, this year. Leaving empty seats behind. Surely, they will be filled, but focusing on the seats that are already filled, that is important. 

The train does not stop, It moves on. People come and go, a part of our life no doubt.

I wish all of you a Prosperous and a safe Year ahead! 

Lost In a sky full of stars.

Contrasted colors, Aren't they? For the curious ones, The Milky Way of course.

Contrasting the colors of my life, for me. Contrasting life and death for me. Contrasting Love, and betrayal for me. Nothing but the most obvious aspects of life. Nothing but  nothingness.
 

 One of the most memorable trips /adventures, I've yet have in my life. A hike to the top of the killer mountain, "Nanga Parbat" a stay in the lush green valley of the Fairy meadows. A night under the sky, a night full of stars. I was lost, in my thoughts. The magnificence of the grandeur sky the infinite number of stars, and our finite existence. Are we just meant to stare at it? are we just meant to be gazing at it? Are we ever going to explore the hidden secrets, of the unknown? 

 Nothing can be said, or predicted. Nothing can be guessed. What the future truly beholds of us, we can just wait for it to happen. 

Try to count the number of satellites for me though.

A Bird Without Wings

They used to tell me that,"Never shoot never shoot across the sky". A bird without wings!

     So naive was it, for me to believe in what they said. Little was my intention to submit to their             thoughts.

     Life was like a cold drink, and God added the drug of love into it. Ecstasy was the result of it.

    A bird released from its cage. Like a phoenix rising from its ashes. I was certainly miles above and      high. I was no longer down or hurt. Little did i know that even that flight was temporary.

With a feeling of having someone that you can rely on, with a shoulder to cry on. Little did i know!

 Surely we all need someone and cannot make it alone. With those eyes disappearing into darkness when they were needed the most, I realized i was still that lonely bird without wings. Thinking i have to make it alone.

The Light of Resurrection

Was it just me or was that dusk surprisingly beautiful. Wandering through the beautiful territory of Kalam, it was my 3rd day in the beautiful city.
 The dying sun, my endless thoughts, the mountain sight that would soon devour the sparkling light of that dying sun.

Sitting under an oak tree, watching the crescent moon slowly overthrowing the sun, thinking about my past, a thought, a moment  more likely a lifetime experience. Gazing around, the white blanket of fresh fallen snow, the frozen lake and around the lake my eyes fell upon a duck. I was at least 40 miles away from any sort of life, all the humans, their livestock even their belongings nothing was to be found their. The only living things were those withered trees, that old duck, and my own self. 
 Surprisingly the only thing that cam to my mind, were some ideas of self resurrection. And a realization, that nobody stands by your side. You came alone, You go alone! Everything is temporary, Every thing is replaceable, This life, these relations, those belongings. You live your own story you write your own destiny. You resurrect your own self from pitch black sorrows. When you decide you conquer, it is just a matter of realization.
 The light of resurrection, Everybody sees it in their own way Mine was this dying sun.

Why was I always different

I have always wondered that why was I different, Apart from my own believes and thoughts, always going against the wrongs always challenging people struggling throughout my life, Struggling just because I was non compliant on my norms on traditions on being right!
 Back to back failures back to back set backs, never dwelling upon the past always thinking ahead. With so many ideas coming to my mind, creative, positive and productive, still always regarded by the society as an idiot just because of the habit of thinking outside the box
 A time came when i started being ashamed of being different than everybody else, despair was all over me lost all of my self confidence, lost all of my friends. Nearly lost my parents to, now this is what an introvert actually is. Being an extrovertly extrovert and transforming into an introvert, surely changes your life.
Being into the depths of despair, Running away from people, hurting those who accidentally got into any sort of relation with me, I never had thought that my life would change again, I never had thought I would be me agian!


Until next time!

WIthout That Presence

What you feel, Without that presence. What you think about in the absence of that presence, What is the meaning of life without that presence? What is that presence, And what does that presence mean to you? 
For me, That presence is the essence of my life. 
While i was walking around in a garden full of cherry blossoms, With snow falling down on the ground, and the leafy green background, Gazing at the pink and white, petals, Only one face that came into my mind, And then the importance of that presence, Only then i was able to realise. 
The importance of those talks, The fights, the crazy quarrels, the late night gossips, the everlasting promises and that smile, The smile that makes my world complete, The smile that is music for my ears. 
A life without that presence is meaningless, A life without that smile is purposless, And those cherey blossoms, made me realize that no matter how beautiful you, yourself are without that green contrast, Your not even half your worth.
That presence is the thing that always makes you better.

Sometimes

Sometimes, We walk with people around us. Sometimes we walk with shadows, And somedays we just walk alone. 
Somedays the sun shines bright, Sometimes the moon is high, But somedays we sit around with someone watching it pour down. 
   Sometimes, we come across with someone, That someone with whom you want to share your dreams with, Your life with. That someone who becomes the center of your dreams and you want to share your memories with. Someone who knows you from within you. Someone who has your heart, who becomes your art, that someone which makes your world revolve around them. 
    A question that, then comes in your mind while you stare at that someone, Trying to figure out all those hidden enigmas, confronting your self and with a strong sense of reasaurance you tell your self that, Yes! This is the feeling of falling in love.

The Sunrise

On the verge of a rising sun, I stood by an oak tree under the thick shade formed by its leaves, Gazing at the rising sun, shining through the clouds, it's rays being deflected, While i was getting ready to capture this moment, A question came through my mind, A question that made my world stop for a moment while i just gazed at that beautiful sight, with my mind in a baffeled state.
The question of life, The question of existance, and most importantly the question of completeness, and togetherness.
  The sun being covered by the clouds, which just added perfection to the golden glow, in a dark background with the glittering shine on the mountain tops, Made me realise that, Alone a person is never complete. Someone is always there who is meant for your completeness, Someone to hold you and lift you up, Someone to bring you out from every moment of sadness, Someone whose existance matters, With whom you can open up your heart, With a smile that certain someone helps you fill that hole in your heart. 
  That someone is important, That someone who completes you, who is precious, Precious enough, to bet your life for.                   
     Finding that someone is the most blissful hunt of life!

Love Will Never Die

When the moon was looking down, with the sun about to rise. With it's first ray falling on my camera and a shadow being casted on me, i realised that, Life always makes you go, like the sun sets and then rises again, Like the seasons change, Like day, and like night. When everything is temporary, only one thing is permanant. 
  Away from that person, with a hope to see that person again, the person that makes you feel complete. With a hope in your mind,that together you will see the seasons change, the leaves fall, the sunrises and the sunsets, your realise that true love is, Permanant. 
   Love will never die, because when the person you love, makes you realise the importance of that feeling, You yourself never let it die.

You are never too OLD to Explore

 

While i was on my way, to the top of our province, Punjab,(Patriata) Situated in Pakistan. For the first time I had an experience to sit on a "Chair Lift/ Cable Car". The height was frightening, and even more was the speed that was carrying us from the ground to a height of at least 7500 ft. from the sea level. The cable car in the midway stopped, and i saw an old man travelling up the mountain chanting out loud, You guys up there, try beating me and reach the top without these fancy machines.

In a Struggle to Live.

  In this struggle to live, have we ever noticed that what around us needs to be considered. As a part of this generation of people who tend to give up, Have we ever collectively tried to understand the circumstances of an individual right besides us?  Have we ever tried to come up to someone and ask the reason for his "Annoying", "Saddening", "Creepy crappy " snapchat stories? Have we ever considered it as a call for help? I can surely say NO!

  When does negativity overpower you? When does a happy face decide to award himself the ultimate punishment? A specific answer to these questions can not be given. Then the reason for opting suicide? We ourselves, are not even clear with that.

   In this so called fake society specifically in the "Sub Continent", the rate of suicide among people of all ages is increasing drastically. The recent statistics are not even able to cover the mortality ratio. Why do people commit suicide? Is it because of lack of social interest? Or is it because of lack of the required attention that a person needs? In my opinion, the sole reason for this drastic increase in the rate of suicide, is the lack of spiritual attachment. People of our generation lack clearance in their concepts regarding their lifestyle.We are stuck between a stigmatizing "Liberalism"  or  "Conservatism".  Instead of having an attitude of acceptance towards others we just wish the death of that person who contradicts our concepts. Spiritual connections, with our elders, our family, our friends and even our pets are deteriorating day by day. We do not consider small moments of happiness and joy in our lives, AS HAPPY MOMENTS. 

  Success is never happiness, happiness is always success and self contentment is the essence of success.

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because a beautiful game of football is waiting for you this weekend. 

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because You are beautiful.

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because one more morning will fix your life for sure.

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, Because i know you can make through any situation put and hand.

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because its a bad day but still a good life,

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because an achievement has been set by your name.

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because netflix still offers alot of promotions.

In this struggle to live, Do not try to kill yourself, because I love you, and alot of others do to. But at the most Allah loves you, more than 70 mothers could have loved you collectively.  

Great Words By The Great Man.

Lucensy of Mother Nature

What is purity? I had always wondered.What is serenity? I had never known. A sentence that I had always been told that,"mother nature knows all." constantly kept on ringing in my conscious and compelled me to set my feet out on a journey with only one purpose, to obtain the meaning of serenity. 

What is serenity?, was the first question in my mind.
Is it a song full of life? Is it a melody that makes you dance even in the saddest hour. Or is it a feeling that bestows upon you limitless felicity. 

Nonetheless, with a long journey ahead and these questions in my mind, I saw an adorable boy, busy in his mainstream life, trying to help his mother to fetch water from the nearest well, while he was busy in his shenanigans, making endearing uncountable mischief with his mother,  he suddenly gazed upon me. With his eyes fixed upon my face, trying read my expressions, I took a glance towards the background. My heart skipped a beat and i was lost in the mesmerizing beauty of mother nature, while the boy was still staring at me, I felt like the birds had started chirping loudly and in a sense the birds were trying to tell me, that this is true serenity. All along my journey, mother nature was trying to answer me but I was at fault, because i was not knowing her language.

Now with one answer in my bag, and some hope along with me I had decided to move on. Again, while passing through this valley full of unlimited aesthetics, I stumbled upon those rocky mountains, trying to reach as high as possible, and as soon as possible, because of that arduous routine that i had left back at home, was waiting for me. A few days had passed, and I was no where near to finding the second answer. With all my hopes shattered, and the time of my departure coming near, I was packing my bags, when a local guide came to take me to hike one last time, and there again I was astounded that as soon as we reached the intended place, I stared upon the mountains far far away from me, conscious started telling me that purity, is something that is beyond the reach of mankind.

 Purity is a feeling of completeness, that mere humans like us can feel for only a few moments but never, can we understand the true meaning of this word. We can explore, but we can never create.

"Mother Nature is always speaking. She speaks in a language understood within the peaceful mind of the sincere observer. Leopards, cobras, monkeys, rivers and trees; they all served as my teachers when I lived as a wanderer in the Himalayan foothills."
Rhadanath Swami

A special thanks to Fatima for letting me use her pictures. Of course all the credits go to her.